ptsd Ptsd And That Nagging 1/10Th

[Tbird]

PTSD And That Nagging 1/10^th

I have been 99.99% sure about things I’ve been 100% wrong about, much to my detriment. That 1/10^th has caused me numerous problems, I just can’t trust anything or anyone the way they feel they should be trusted and it hurts them and it hurts me.

Though perhaps statistically insignificant, it can devastate a persons life. Relationships fail, family ties weaken and even going to a therapist can be difficult. Trust is a major issue and I can get 99.99% sure about something, but I have to ramp up to it. So going to a new therapist it may take me 6 months or more to get to the 99.99%, which just really hurts me. I would like to be different, but now it’s just sort of like having green eyes, wish they were blue, but no amount of wishing, pills, therapy, or whatever is going to make them blue. So 99.99% is about the best I can do and for many relationships that’s just no enough.

With this new scare at the VA John Cochran Hospital over possibly infected dental equipment being used. Well, other then going to get my blood test to see if they did infect me with HIV or Hepatitis, is going to be tough. Tougher still is going to be going back there for my treatment. See they are 99.99% sure they didn’t infect anyone, but there again is that nagging 1/10^th.

Below is a quote from The Saint Louis Post Dispatch dated July 7, 2010

“Dr. Patricia Arola, assistant undersecretary for health for dentistry, said she toured Cochran's processing department Tuesday and called it 'state of the art with energetic employees."

"I have great confidence in the supply processing department," she said.

But just recently at Cochran, the cleaning of endoscopes was moved from the supply processing department to the gastrointestinal unit after problems surfaced with equipment not being properly cleaned.

Hospital leaders closed the department for two weeks in December and January to train staff and to sterilize all endoscopes, which are used in colonoscopies and other procedures.

A month later, after receiving a complaint about endoscope sterilization, Veterans Affairs inspectors visited the hospital and found several health and safety infractions. The temperature in the sterilization area was too high, rags and gloves were 'strewn about" in the decontamination areas, filters had not been changed as required, a technician was not wearing protective gear, chemical test strips were left exposed, emergency exits were blocked, and employees were unsure whether an unattended endoscope was sterile, according to an inspection report issued in April by the VA's Office of Inspector General.”

Arola said she was unfamiliar with those problems.”

Source: St Louis Post Dispatch July 7 2010

http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/metro/article_fbce0747-eff9-53e6-9791-c698808c5ad7.html

Now this does give me some concerns, since I also had a colonoscopy, done there the end of last year or beginning of this year.

I remember sitting in the Patient Advocates office with my niece. We were trying to find out the procedure for getting my hospital bills paid after the VA diverted my ambulance, I ended up a week in the hospital for ischemic colitis, ulcerative colitis both one or the other I still don’t really know. Suffice it to say there was a lot of bleeding and a lot of pain. So the hospital is billing me, so my niece and I are up there and I tell the patient advocate that I am concerned because of the news that other VA hospitals had not been cleaning their equipment. She says they never happened here, I say that don’t matter. My niece puts her hand on my leg to calm me down. I shut up and she talks, because as some of you with PTSD know, once you let your anger out of the box, it isn’t so easy to put it back in there.

So now I read the article above and it says they did have a problem there, but I sure was never notified of this. Perhaps it got fixed before my colonoscopy, little comfort in that.

Oh wait a minute the VA is 99.99% sure that every thing is fine, I should feel better about that right? Again that nagging 1/10^th, so if you also suffer from that nagging 1/10^th you are not alone. I don’t have any answers, I just wanted to share.

Read more about the VA Dental Infection possibilities in this thread, I will be updating after I have my HIV/Hepatitis Blood test, and again after I have my second one. Just because you come up negative the first time, you have to be tested again in either 3 – 6 months. So we wait 99.99% sure that nothing will come of it, but like I said, they don’t help much.

[Pete53]

Dear Tbird

I am a worrier and it is hard for me to trust but not as hard for me to believe. I know that I believe in the fact that most people want to do the right thing.

So over the years I rely on people to do the right thing. If they don't I remove them from my trusted list and it is very difficult to get back on.

The VA has to be verified. In the end screw ups or intentional it rally does not make that much difference.

So I check on people even when I trust them in other words trust but verify.

I trust some people at the VA but not the VA.

As far as what has happened to you and others my prayers are that you will be clear. There are many others who need to check. Some people have to be held accountable and someone walking through the hospital and saying we have the best equipment and people does not cut the mustard.

Even when you are cleared the VA should owe you for the aggravation and worry that you have been put through.

Tbird you are very much a survivor and you are going to be ok.

Your Friend

Pete

[john999]

I am dumbfounded by the HIV scare at the various VAMC's. I did get a serious staff infection from a private doctor. When you go to the dentist, or for a colonoscopy you trust that the hospital and doctors are at least using sterile procedures. It is incredibly easy to get infections at hospitals under the best conditions. For us patients at the VA we are often like monkies in a computer factory. You learn the system by using it. I must admit I would not go to my VAMC for any major surgery. I did not even go when my foot got severely infected. A delay or brush off could have cost me my foot. That is terrible since many vets have only the VA. The VA should be the Gold Standard of care if the government means what it says. I tend to agree that I trust certain doctors at the VA but the system overall is not user friendly. 7 hours yesterday just to do a lab and get a script had me and my wife biting nails. This was a scheduled appointment.

[carlie]

Lady T,

Thanks for this post as it will surely help other veterans in this situation

to know - they are not alone, you've thrown out another life line for them to tie onto.

carlie

[stillhere]

t-bird

That really is a good bet everything will be fine. Wish they could have guaranteed the investment I made in the stock market.

take care, stillhere