ptsd Mortuary Affairs Ptsd

[kowa]

I was in 92-97. Non combat PTSD. Have had the diagnosis by no less than 4 Dr.'s. I have seen the results of many violent deaths while on duty, the majority civilian. Kids were the hardest. I was locked down on the tarmac to jump into Haiti in '94 but that's as close as I came to combat.

I had it when I got out but it became really bad in 2000 when my dad suffered a heart attack in front of me. Due to lack of knowlege and bad advice I didnt get into the VA system until '05 or 06.

My current Psych guy told me I should put in a claim a year and a half ago but I put it off because I feel bad for having it and not being a combat vet and I was working at the time..I am "laid off" now with no chance of going back I have had trouble every job I have been on because of the anxiety attacks.

I have many questions now that I have finally filed a claim. I see a bunch of guys getiting denied who seem to me to be far more deserving, so I'm really stressing the board when it happens. Maybe I should feel validated knowing 2 psychs have recommended me putting in a claim but I dont.

1. Is there a chance I get any compensation?

Since I have been having trouble at work...I have anxiety attacks at work, people look at me different, (ie. "yeah, you were a paratrooper" or "you are a liability") I have trouble going back. For one out of embarresment and two because I want to hurt these people that give me grief.

2. I am worried about my future and have considered applying for disability with the state. Can I do that with my VA records? Would the VA doc sign off on that?

3. I cant find most of the guys I was stationed with. Our numbers were few, especially when I went to Bragg and Campbell. The DAV guy says I dont need proof of a stressor, do I bring in paper clippings of a friend I lost as a towed jumper, or the tornado that collapsed a Wal-Mart an we recovered 4 casualties (no awards, we were doing our jobs) How does the VA know if I dont bring these to the board?

Any advise appreciated. Welcome any Questions if it helps provide a more informed answer for me.

[Philip Rogers]

Kowa - A,atw!!! Welcome! You certainly could be successful w/a VA claim. The advice you're getting here is accurate. You need a VA diagnosis of PTSD. If you can, hook up w/a Vet Center, if one's in your area. If not, the vet centers will contract w/a local shrink to help you. You should secure any evidence of the things you did and saw. These can be newspaper articles, military documents, eye witness statements, police/EMS reports, etc. Anything that will verify something happened and that you were there/involved. Come back often and ask questions, as needed.

pr

[kowa]

The last three hold phd's and are with the VA. One that said I should file a claim is also in the Marines (reserves). One he just sent me to specializes in PTSD trauma, when I told her the other Doc had recommended it she said "well, that makes two of us.."

The one I started with had a masters and another had a phd who filled in while the Marine was over seas.

As for it being in writing, only on my meds, they have all said I suffer from it but I havent seen it in writing. Depression as well.

Yes, I worry they will chalk it all up on my dad. He didnt die until a couple of months later. I went to see a chaplain after one of the atoupsies, (thinking I could reclass, recruiters lol)I told him it really bothered me and he told me girls do my job...after that I felt as if I was not going to get any help. By that time I couldnt eat potatoes and gravy, I tasted some one night after being at the morgue and they tasted like the smell of it.

Anyway, my point is I had it but felt like I had no one to go to with my problems if the chaplain would dismiss me like he did. I started drinking every night to get to sleep. So no, there is nothing on file for this.

When DoD came to Ft Lee for volunteers to go to Airborne school and on to Bragg, I jumped at the chance to get out of there. I worked in the cemetary and was a rifle man on a burial team. No morgue work there, but I did lose a friend on a jump. I was locked down for the jump into Haiti...I am always being deployed in my dreams. Blood is always in them, sometimes casualties, sometimes not. Sometimes I am the towed jumper. I had one dream the first night I went to the VA and signed up of a burn victim I recovered,he was in the VA hospital and he came out of his room and told me he was gonna get my skin when I died.

None of this has anthing to do with my dad. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to why I have an attack and others. I can trace it back to a smell. A bloody deer mess splattered across the hwy for example.

The DAV guy claimed it was because of my MOS that there didnt have to be a stressor. I will look at your link after I am done with this.

Thank you for your quick responses. I am scared to death of this C and P and my integrity being called to question so this is good because I imagine I will get the same there. How I was able to push through it I dont know, Part of the Airborne creed is I will finish my mission though I be the lone survivor. We are told from day one, you signed on the dotted line..etc. I didnt want to be a "trouble child" so I just kept it internal. I excelled in other parts of soldiering, CSM and LTC coins for best fighting postitions, rifle team at Bragg. Always on the QRF teams. Anything to avoid the morgue or collection points.

[kowa]

My wife says I'm a hypochondriac (sp)...I came home once from an out of town school because I didnt want to die out of town...it was an anxiety attack. I thought I was ahving an anxiety attack. I take a lorazapan now when it happens.

But my wife is right, any twinge or sign of illness and I am trying to tie it to an incurable disease and my demise. I think it has to do with the dead people I worked on.

[Pete53]

Welcome to Hadit. I think that based on the info you have provided you have an excellent chance of winning a claim. If you can't work it can be substantial although many here wish it was more. You should look into Social Security also if you can't work due to your PTSD.

Being around dead bodies is pretty much proof that your stressor is there.

Good Luck

[kowa]

Still no C&P letter.

[john999]

You might find your old unit on the net and be able to connect with old buddies who can verify your stressor if necessary. I found my old unit and two of my closest buddies after 35 years.