Life After 100% Service Connection

[82airborne]

Well now that my claim is finished I'm trying to discharge my student loans so my credit will get better. The vocational rehab guy keep telling me about school. I might as well go to the prison and ask them to enroll MEE. At this point me and people do not mix. Also I don't want to commit to anything. Before I do anything I need to get my health together. I'm pretty much bleeding from time to time out of both ends. Yes. Old doc say my liver point is up most likely to being a alcoholic when I was in my twenties. I been avoiding all contact with unknown people. All I really want. It is not money for school but I just want my credit to get right where I can get a home loan then I pretty much want to disappear to the suburbs of California. Education I can read books. I have no desire to be around people. I walk with a cane every day. I see people looking at me then turning they head when i look they way. But not to stray from what I'm saying I put in for a school loan discharge so I will attempt on letting YALL know how it helps my credit if it do. So this is where I'm at now still going to the psych and medical doctors at the va. So my main goal is to pretty much disappear but not disappear from society.

[82airborne]

Well I'm on Prozac 80mg 10mg Of prazosin and a half of RISPERIDONE. I don't know but I'm having spurts of anger. Here's a situation. This guy in this car was blocking our path my gal was driving this guy calls my girl a idiot and he is just running his mouth. So they pass us and believe me I didn't say a word. My girl is yelling talking stuff and guess what all I can think about was giving my rude friend a visit so out car stopped and I seen the guy walking to the bank door so I get out the car go up to him and interrogate him I should say to end the story he apologized and since then I been extremely agitated i been on my balcony for over a hour just thinking. Man what I wa noted to do to old boy but I got back in the car like nothing was happening my girl yelling no no noooo I tell her not to be honking getting into it with different drivers on the street for this very reason. I just wanted to take a ride try getting myself out the house enjoy the sunny day. Really I wish I would have stayed home. Man something is terribly going wrong I am fine when I'm in the house. I feel dizzy amped angry mad guilty sleepy all at once. Yes I am trying to clear my head so I can go to sleep I find if I'm thinking negative towards bedtime I have a lot of nightmares. This is what happen. I go to sleep wake up from a nightmare use the restroom feel myself in a pool of sweat go back to sleep wake up in two hours nightmare get up use the restroom go back to sleep have a nightmare this went on for about 12 TIMES one night. All I wish is that my credit gets right so I can move gave a backyard to sit in. I found a online store that sells fruit trees I plan on planting these trees everywhere in my backyard. I swear I'm going to disappear soon to the suburbs away from everybody and live a simple life. I need to find a place where everybody is courteous and nice. I think by the end of May IM out this apartment this is what is really stressing me. I need a bigger house to walk around in

[killemall]

Big 40. Nice!

[82airborne]

Big 40. Nice!

:-)

[82airborne]

Man just to be able to sleep all night without waking up a million times. I had to give up RISPERIDONE I was TRULLY becoming violent. I would try to attack. Then ask questions later. Plus another side affect was this pill was doing wicked things with my tongue that I didn't

Enjoy one bit. I have a question. Say a person trying to decipher between fake and reality. Ok you was born in church all your life and you begin to see spirits. So as a religious person they would see this as a gift as a doctor they would see it as a curse oooooh well I will try this thing they call sleep hopefully When I wake up it Will Be about 10-12am yeah right I will be awaken prolly every 2 horse. GOOODNIGHT once and for all. Thanx. :-)

[john999]

I think the VA's providing drugs and not providing psychotherapy is not good. These things go hand in hand. In the last 30 years psychiatrists have just become drug pushers. The ones at the VA don't do psychotherapy at all. That is left up to social workers and some counselors. These people have neither the education or skills to do psychotherapy at a high level. In many cases giving patients anti-psychotic drugs like Risperidone is the only way to help them. This is the first step. Next comes intense psychotherapy. Otherwise, people have a way of getting off their anti-psychotics because of side effects and they end up in trouble again either with the law or society.

In Florida if a patient comes into a mental hospital ward they rush to get the person stabilized on some drug and then discharge them with a bottle of pills in their hand. In a month the patient forgets to take the pills and is right back in the nuthouse or jail. The VA does the same thing.

[82airborne]

Hello world HoW is it going. Today I thought I had a appointment and guess what I went to the appointment but it's not for two months away. I'm still pretty much house bound. I have no desires of leaving the house unless I have to. I think may 1st i will be moving to suburbia hopefully my gal act like she us not coming with me. Ooooooooh well. I can still visit her. Low key its 5 people in a two bedroom I'm done I need my space a backyard where I can look at the stars and just breathe that's all I really want. I'm still trying to adjust to my medicine. My girl say in my sleep I'm shaking rapidly yelling and fighting in the bed I'm waking up about every two to three hours. Most of all I'm tired every day. Man I think once I move I will be more relaxed and not so stressed my psychiatrist assistant checked in on me today I told him about the RISPERIDONE how i had to let it go it felt like I was getting more violent and my tongue felt dry and irritated OOOH well that's where I'm at now hopefully I make the right decisions but I know this much I will stay in isolation for now. I'm avoiding any issues I hope