ptsd Ptsd And Uncontroled Symptoms?

[BoonDoc]

I have been on Hadit.com long enough now to ask a question that I'm ashamed to ask, but I understand that most of you have more experience in dealing with the symptoms of PTSD, as well as so many other mental diabilities, than I do.

I was raised by a dad who is now 73 years old, and an Army SGT. who is as hard as "woodpecker lips" and I was raised as a boy to never show my emotions in front of anyone.

Well, I was wondering if some of you who have, or have worked with those who have PTSD, have times when you have outburst in to "weeping" for no apparent reason. I'm not talking about just crying a little...I'm talking weeping that you can't stop. I am so embarresed to even be telling this it make me sick at my stomach feeling guilty since I'm not supposed to cry as a man or was taught this.

I often have no reason for the weeping, it can hit when I'm actually laughing at a movie, or just by myself, and then out of no where I get "hit" with these episodes of weeping, then it stops as quick as soon as it started, and I'm left wondering what the Hell just happened and why? I have taught my son at home that crying is a normal human reaction/emotion and not to hold it back when you have to...that's part of being human, and that it doesn't make you less of a man...just maybe try not to cry whwen it's not appropiate, like loosing the basketball game wouldn't be a good time to brreak out crying at 12 years old, etc! But, don't feel guilty about crying either.

I have had it happen in Wal-mart, and I "freaked" and ran to the restroom until i could get my composure back.

I am back on Xanax again, and it doesn't happen in public as often, but then again I don't go in public if I have a choice!

If you have any input please let me know since this is such an embarressing event that I don't really want to talk about it, but want to find out what is happening to me....and there has to be somebody else out there who has simular symptoms as I am having.

It may not have anything to do with PTSD, but I have assumed that it does.

Going out on a "limb" here...

Boondoc

[BoonDoc]

First off, each one of you who replied, so far, have added something unique that has given me insight. Maybe I posted in the wrong place...

I don't have a group in my area ( I live in the Ouachita mountains, a 20 min. drive to the nearest little town of 1200..on purpose of course) but I knew I wasn't the only one who had this typr of symptom, and I also know that it's normal for all of us to have emotions, I just want to be able to control them in public a little better...usually it's anger that surfaces in public, not the crying....I would rather cry because I always makes feel like such an ass when I loose it and go off on someone, and over the littlest things, and my wife gets so embarresed and walks off...then she forgives me, but it's harder to forgive myself, and this adds to the agoraphobia thing going on.

I just started counseling a few months ago, October '06 I think, so I am learning the coping skills...seems simular as those in AA. I'm sure it's depression causing me to have the uncontrolled crying from PTSD. I do feel better after it happens, unless it's in public, and then I feel such guilt that I cann't hardly take it...but I have learned to not change my facial expressions, just rears rolling down my face, and then I get out of where ever I'm at, same with panic attacks.

I know that I can't keep doing the same things and expect a different result...I am obligating myself to continuing counseling this time...

Thanks again,

Boondoc

[carlie]

Boondoc,

I don't know how far you are from Little Rock but they have a vet center there.

Hope this helps a vet,

carlie

Little Rock Vet Center

| View Map Yahoo! - MapQuest - Google

201 W. Broadway St. Suite A

North Little Rock, AR 72114

Phone: (501)-324-6395

Fax: (501)-324-6928

[BoonDoc]

Boondoc,

I don't know how far you are from Little Rock but they have a vet center there.

Hope this helps a vet,

carlie

Little Rock Vet Center

| View Map Yahoo! - MapQuest - Google

201 W. Broadway St. Suite A

North Little Rock, AR 72114

Phone: (501)-324-6395

Fax: (501)-324-6928

Carlie,

Thanks for the info!

I'm about an hour away from Hot Springs, AR. and there is a VA outpatient based community clinic (I think that's what it's called) and I believe the LCSW that I see told me that they have a couple different groups for PTSD patients there too. She told me that I was welcome, and when I was ready I could come and meet everyone...I have such difficulty leaving the house (shwe said I had agoraphobia too) so when I get over the wreck I was in I may look into it.

My wife has to drive me, so if I can get it on her day off I might consider it after I recoove from a wreck I was in a month ago..doing 3 x a week physical therapy...

I want to "Give It Up" for women, I have found out who really keeps the family together and running...it ain't me!

Boondoc

[BoonDoc]

I went to the Vet Center here in our city for about 3 months. I thought it was government funded, part of the VA, but now unsure. I was being seen by a guy, Clinical Psychologist, was in Nam same year as me, 1968. He lost a leg that year; now walks on a prosthesis. He even ended-up in rehad same place as me in Japan, 1968.

Its good to go tell your story to a counselor, but it doesn't help me much. As a matter of fact, that Vet Center counselor kind of gave-up on me. Guess he thought I was a lost cause. Nice guy, though.

There's not much they can do for you. Medications may help, but I haven't found any relief to date.... and the VA has prescribed 3 different meds with no relief found, yet. I still think a med will help.

You lnow just understanding why I don't want to leave the house, and be around people helps me to deal with it. In the past I had no good excuse as to why I would go to a family reunion, except that I couldn't make it this year. I didn't understand why I was doing some of the thing that I have been doing, so now that I have been doing some reading about PTSD, and agoraphobia it seems to help me feel as guilty for not wanting to interact with society...oh I go to my kids basketball games when I'm able but I' full of Xanax before I can even walk through the doors, an dthen I'm in a state of panic and I can't wait to get out of there as fast as I can. My dad was to tired to come to most of my school events, and I remember what that felt like, so I make myself go through this so they can have good memories when they grow up...I've gotten pretty good at disguising my emotions in public, an dof course I sit at the top near the exit, with my back to the wall.

I was told by my mental hygene MD that my mind had been re-wired and it wouldn't ever go back to the same as it was, so I needed to learn coping skills so i can make the best of what I have....trying, but as we all know there is always a setback somewhere along the "road" to recovery, and maybe I don't even expect to get totally better, I just want to be able to get out of th ehouse a little more for the wife & kids sake, and maybe control my temper better.

The Xanax helps me during a panic attach, but if I take it to long I get used to it and it looses it's effectivness...I took it for 7 years and quit taking it because of a jerk of a doctor who took me off 3 mg per day "cold turkey"...not pretty, so I hsave a healty dose of respect for Xanax, but it also helps my symptoms better that anyother meds for the severe panic attacks.

Boondoc

[Pete53]

Xanax is the only med that helps stop my panic attacks. I have been taking up to 4 mgs a day since 1991. Everytime I see a 20 something Intern they try to stop my Xanax. Yes I know I am addicted to it but I don't drink and I don't take more than is prescribed.

[BoonDoc]

Xanax is the only med that helps stop my panic attacks. I have been taking up to 4 mgs a day since 1991. Everytime I see a 20 something Intern they try to stop my Xanax. Yes I know I am addicted to it but I don't drink and I don't take more than is prescribed.

I had my pain specialist tell me that I would become dependent as my body built up tolerence to the meds, but I wouldn't be addicted unless I started taking more of the meds than prescribed and used it for the "euphoric sp? effect" and then that would be considered addiction...I was concerned before being put on my pain meds because of all of the chatter about how "bad" they are.

It's the same way with meds like Xanax...they make you jump through hoops to get it, and then you have to fight to keep it...I dread it when I see that there's a new doctor going to treat me at the VA!!

Boondoc