ptsd Psychologist I Have - Read At Own Risk

[carlie]

During the last 6 to 8 months I have had a VA psychologist

that is a resident at the VA - she is not yet a PsyD.

Last week she asked me, if I felt that having a claim with VA to

SC my PTSD, was standing in the way of my treatment.

When she asked me this I just totally shut down, got up

and told her I need to write her a letter and I would see her

again next week, which was today.

This is the letter I gave her today - then did her little VA

questionaire, and left.

I would like to know if other's here have had an experience similar to this

and how it left them feeling.

Thanks,

carlie

During our session today you asked me if I felt my VA claim for Service connection of PTSD was standing in the way of treatment.

I really don't know how to answer or take this question coming from a person that is providing therapy to help me deal with issues of daily living and ways to deal with my mental health problems.

My first feeling was to ask myself, is she trying to bring my anger out because I sure don't want to have this happen here at the VA because I will be the one to end up with more trouble. My next feeling and thought concerned how very long it took me to admit to myself that I had been raped while on active duty.

I would never admit or accept this as I did not have broken bones, wasn't beat to hell, wasn't tied up or ended up in a hospital with blood dripping from anywhere.

It has taken years of therapy for me to admit and accept that just by someone holding me against my wilI and being able to physically force a part of their body into mine - is rape.

All my life I thought like many, many other people. I thought for someone to rape me they would have to kiIl me first. Therapy taught me that wasn't true.

Somehow our last session seems to have destroyed everything I thought I had learned from my PTSD therapy so far. I wiIl let you know this, should I win the lottery and be a millionaire, I will continue with my claim for PTSD to be service connected.

I feel, had this not happened to me while in the army neither I, nor my family would not have to suffer with all of the crap, the fear, nightmares, flashbacks, anger, hate for myself, all and more, from PTSD.

Before all of the PTSD problems began I was a viable citizen.

I was employed, made a decent living and was able to contribute to

society -that is dead and Iam nothing.

It took Dr.Maria Crane, Dr. Shriner and several others a very long time for me to accept this,the true definition of rape.

It took years for me to know why I was always so angry and short with others, why I didn't sleep well, why I always felt like I was fighting the world.

When the ENT at Baypines assaulted me, it took the people above to connect the dots for me as to why I have this PTSD.

I just could not understand inside of my head -just what active duty assaults had to do with the assault from the doctor.

They helped me understand it was a delayed onset of PTSD and that is how active duty assault relates to the doctor, me and PTSD.

VA Disability compensation is paid for injury or Illness caused during military service.

Whether a person needs money or not isn't a factor in granting or denying daims.

I will always stand on the side of fairness and justice.

Edited January 29, 2009 by carlie

[halos2]

John999 you hit the nail on the head! Us oldies are being side stepped for the newer one's. I can attest to that as I am still fighting the system(BVA) and some newer one's went ahead of me and received 100% without half of my documentation..I blame the system, not my fellow vets.

B)

Carlie, courage girl to announce it here. I know what you say, I feel your pain.

The question Carlie's shrink asked her is an unfair question. How do you answer something like that? I get the idea the shrink is fishing for an answer to justify something else the VA wants to do like farming out psychiatric patients to the private sector. I do think the VA wants to get rid of us older psychiatric patients to make room for the Iraq and Afghanistan vets.

[carlie]

Thnks to everyone for your support on this issue.

After reading your responses I realize I wasn't

just being too sensitive to what the psychologist

asked me.

Wings - on my end - you and I are OK, water under

the bridge.

carlie

[Wings]

Thnks to everyone for your support on this issue.

After reading your responses I realize I wasn't

just being too sensitive to what the psychologist

asked me.

Wings - on my end - you and I are OK, water under

the bridge.

carlie

Thanks Carlie, Together, we are invincible. ~Wings

[jecsb4]

Carlie & Co,

Thanb you for serving and not quiting and staying in the fight for your rights for you and your loved ones.

jc

[Commander Bob]

...Last week she asked me, if I felt that having a claim with VA to

SC my PTSD, was standing in the way of my treatment.

I would like to know if other's here have had an experience similar to this

and how it left them feeling.

Thanks,

carlie

In the 1970's, 1980's and even in the 1990's it was SOP for many VA doctors to believe that. Of course, back then, many of them had blood on their hands because of the ignorance of the medical community. As you know PTSD was not even recognized as a disability until late 1980-81. In the past, when stressed out vets were accused of faking it, many vets suffering with PTSD, blamed themselves, and went out and committed suicide. I had a loser VA doctor ask me that same question, a couple of decades ago. I walked out and sought private help. What an insult.

[MikeR]

Bob, I think you hit it on the head.