ptsd Mental Health Compensation Exam

[CampPen33]

Hey guys, first time poster but I have been lurking. I have my mental health compensation and pension exam soon. I was wanting to know what to expect. If anyone knows what kind of questions are on the GAF test. I am anxious as xxxx. I just don't want some douche to say I'm fine, because I'm obviously not. I am actively enrolled in therapy and medicine management through the VA. Two doctors and a social worker have said I have PTSD. I take Gabapentin for anxiety and sleeping, Zoloft for mood, Prasozin for nightmares, and Klonopin for anxiety if I'm going to go out in a crowded area etc.... which I avoid. I always forget to shower, shave, or brush my teeth. I mean I literally just forget to. I'm anxious all the time. Sleeping is still an issue even with this medication. I have had some suicidal thoughts, but guilt over what they would go through with that keeps me from doing it. I feel depressed. My wife has a job, but both our credit sucks, so we are almost out of luck on where we are going to live. I have no idea where my life is headed. If CPS will come take my kids because I'm all dogged out on meds.

Most of my symptoms stem from the Invasion of Iraq. My unit was 1st Recon Bn if you ever watched the show Generation Kill. I was in Alpha company though. I constantly think about the absolute atrocities we did there. From snipers shooting random people it seemed, and even myself shooting a "forward observer" with with my .50 cal M2... I still wonder if it was just some guy in the wrong place, or someone who actually was directing the mortars coming in on us. Going though the city of Nasariyah was horrifying. Dead civilians everywhere. People seemingly trying to desperately crawl out of vehicles on the side of the road who had been blown apart half hanging out of the vehicles.

Or stupid ass Trombley shooting that little kid. My platoon took him to the closest trauma unit and I watch them working on him. He had 4 bullets wounds that I can remember all from his upper abdomen to his shoulder. I still can't believe that Trombley is not in prison. There was absolutely no reason to shoot him at all. I actually was the first vehicle en route to the raid and saw the kid and didn't shoot him, then this shit head shoots him how many humvees back? He wasn't even in our company,

Danger close DPICM blowing up about 50 yards away when our whole convoy was stupidly boxed in ... no going back(the entire BN)... oh and I'm on the .50 in the lead vehicle ... no going right (giant canal) ... no going left (giant xxxxxxx birm) ... no going forward (city that stalled RCT1 from just passing it on the highway... then what happens? Someone sees up and gets some guys to come shoot at us so for about a half hour were duking it out, then someone decided we would call in danger close artillery. To bad I had no idea that was coming. BOOM... "holy xxxx, I screamed... where the xxxx is that coming from? Is that ours, theirs?" No one is answering me cause they are all bunkered in on the birm to my left. I think get down, but then no, these idiots are trying to get around us to the side of the birm ... me thinking they wanted to get the angle to shoot down the line... anyway, I'm officially more xxxxxxx scared than I have ever been.. then we get the order just to drive through the town... I'm not even going to go there,

Anyway, after that deployment I decided I'm going to get out... but not before I get sent to falljuh! oh joy... besides the extreme op tempo and exhaustion, constant threat of IEDs, or mortars or rockets landing on your trailer when you were in camp fallujah, my platoon gets ambushed one night... I'm PASSED OUT in the drivers seat... like drunk like tired out of it... I melt out of the drivers seat screaming about what it happening. Where is it coming from... "HOW ABOUT A xxxxxxx ADDRAC RIGGS!" I xxxxxxx scream at him...

Anyway, after that I actually did get out... no lets talk about post USMC... I had tons of money, and had always been good with handling it and my credit... within one summer it was all gone, I was evicted from an apartment, and everything in my name went to collections. I had nothing at all. Luckily my brother was will to back me up and cosign for an apartment near Northeastern in Boston and the students loans he did too. I went to school, and found myself bored and annoyed I was doing it... I was an xxxxxxx to the kids in my classes because they were stupid and ignorant. After the second semester I ran away from Boston to Florida, and started delivering beer. I had attached myself to a girl with good credit and tried to deal with work. I couldn't after awhile, I hated it and it only fueled my constant anxiety. I quit, but before that I was starting to feel very depressed and suicidal. I would think about how to do it, but I could never bring myself to do it. That is when I thought... reenlist, get deployed and get killed! Perfect idea. Anyway, I get back in(told them whatever I had to), and had to help the local recruiter recruit. I meet and start screwing this chick.. I mean whats wrong with some tail? Anyway, she gets pregnant.

We get married and she comes with me. I still am wanting to be killed overseas. Training to deploy blah blah blah... son born ... blah blah blah ... thinking the best option for everyone is for her to get the SGLI when I am killed. One hickup... remember my credit is awful(luckily I was able to get my clearance), caring for them is nearly impossible. I ended up using my government travel charge card a bunch for personal things, get bagged and NJPd.... now I'm not deploying... clearance gets taken away, can't deploy with the next company, try and get it back, but they say no. They were hesitant at first anyway.

I start going to therapy over at the base clinic, and do that off and on for two years... was on just zoloft... now I just got out again and have seen VA MH people 3 times prior to go to this C&P soon... Again, all those meds, and I still am anxious all the time, hard time getting a good nights rest... and if I do sleep the drugs make me tired during the day so either way I'm screwed.... I thinking about shit everyday... I'm always cranky to my wife and kids. I have problem with anger. I've punched holes in walls etc...

I just want your guys opinion on my situation, and what I can expect the day of.

Thanks in advance!

[Pete53]

The GAF is not a test it is the examiners opinion of how you are doing. Based on what you have written here I would suspect that you can prove a claim and get compensation from VA. For these type of claims it helps you if you are getting help to deal with your symptoms.

Welcome to Hadit.

[Berta]

As long as your diagnosis of PTSD is from the VA itself,it looks as though you will fit into the new PTSD regulations and a PTSD rating would be warranted.

The new regs are here in our PTSD forum.

Are you near a Vet Center?

When I worked at a vet center I could feel the relief in new combat veterans when they joined the PTSD group and realized they were not alone and they sure were not crazy.

Edited May 16, 2011 by Berta

[Notorious Kelly]

CampPen,

Thank you for your service!

I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties back home.

I agree that a vet center is the place to go; it's less stressful than going to the VA.

But- get help somewhere!

Edited May 16, 2011 by Notorious Kelly

[jbasser]

Sorry to hear about the issues you are facing. I think you need some help.

Maybe some type of counseling and anger management.

It is difficult to cope with our experiences and everyone needs a place to vent as it is not good to keep this inside.

On the other hand, Hadit is a place where vets can get claims help. We have a lot of members here from all branches of service, All walks of life, and believe it or not, many different countries. ( Many Vets live abroad).

Hadit also is a family orientated site as we have several youngsters helping their parents/grandparents work their claims because the parents or grandparents are unable to use a computer.

For this reason, I ask you to be careful how how you post. Please refrain from using words that are distasteful. I think you can do that and I believe you can regain control. That is the key to survival to a person with PTSD.

Thank you for your service and welcome to Hadit.com.

[CampPen33]

I thought you guys should know that I had the exam. It didn't go at all like I expected. He had my already huge VA file, and kept saying we didn't have to go into detail so we didn't have to talk about any "stressors." I still started randomly crying anyway... I'm so pathetic. Anyway, he was the nice old gentleman, all slouched over with a bow tie and everything. Anyway, he went over the template with me, and I have a good feeling about it.

I am curious about a couple things though. He had me do some simple math, and spell some simple words... backwards too... I actually screwed a few up! I was just wondering what those questions were about.