The FIRST thing you need to do..

[broncovet]

....After you get a disability rating is to ......drum rolll......

1.  Decide and choose wisely "who" if anyone you want to disclose this to:

     Here is why.  A Veteran recently posted (after his award):

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My family either doesn’t give a shit, doesn’t understand or wants a piece of it. 

This is why you want to choose carefully EVEN in YOUR OWN FAMILY.  

     I regret telling my family.  Why?  Well my son blurted out, when I suggested he do a better job managing his money, "Yea, but Im not "suc**ing a government ti*&" so I dont have the money. 

It was my mistake.  First I should not have said that to a grown son.  And I shouldnt have told him I was 100 percent.  

    If you and a family member are comfortable "telling each other" how much you make, then fine.  But, if they expect YOU to reveal, and they want theirs kept private, then dont do it.  

    Its my advice "not" to tell your neighbor "unless" he is such a good friend he has also told you of his finances in DETAIL.  Ditto for other friends.  

    SOME REASONS:

1.  Disclosing your VA compensation can raise the "jealousy" flag.  (Gee, he gets 3000 a month for nothing, and I have to work for mine).  

2.  Disclosing your VA compensation can result in these people "reporting" you if your relationship goes south.  Example:  "He does not seem that hard of hearing to me.  Why he complains about my dog barking so how does he hear that?"     People, who are not audiologists or medical professionals (and even many medical professionals) "dont get" how our hearing loss affects life.  (You can hear the dog bark).   Yes.  I hear your dog.  Your dog barks in a frequency (low pitch sounds, while I have a high pitched hearing loss), which keeps me awake.  

Even doctors often do not understand how/why being unable to distinguish an "F" from a "T", for example.  ("F" is a hard letter to hear.  Missing "just one letter" in a sentence can put you into left field)   Example:  I once had a friend who called to tell me she had an email problem.   

"No problem!   I have some time, why dont I drop by and help you fix it!"   (She knows I am good with computers).  

She gets mad and hangs up.  I dont know why.  I must have not understood what she said.  (Doing word puzzles in my head)

That is it!!!   She doesnt have an email problem, she has a "FEMALE problem".  

     Its my advice to "Choose carefully" who you disclose your VA disability rating/income to.  If you dont tell them on Thursday, you can tell always tell them next week.  But its hard to "reel those words back in", as much as we would like to.    Tell your hadit family...These people have disclosed theirs!!!  

 

 

Edited January 18, 2020 by broncovet

[broncovet]

I liked at least 2 things you said, AWG.  

Yes, the bitterness is real. .  Once, a Brother in law came to my house, and saw a new Chevy pickup parked in my driveway.  He goes, "WHooooa...where did you get the money for that?"

I (had decided) not to disclose my "retro" to him, partly because I was still making payments on the truck.  

After he left, I got to thinking.   He smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day, which is about 20 dollars a day,  as a pack of cigarettes is "about" ten bucks, especially if you include lighters, matches, trips to get cigarettes, holes burned in clotehes and furniture etc.    20 dollars a day times 30 days per month is 600 per month!!!  (My truck payment is way less than 600 per month).  So, he literally "burns up" his "Truck" when he lights a cigarette each day.  I decided not to "burn up" my truck, but drive it instead.  (and, yes, I love it!!!)

    So, he is mad at ME because I made good choices, chose not to smoke but instead get to drive a new truck.  Is this somehow "my fault" because he burns up his money each day???  Still, his bitterness is real.  

But, more importantly, I loved your 

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Time is money, but money is not time.  

  We still only have 24 hours a day, and I have that same 24 hours as Warren Buffet.  I actually probably have MORE time than he does, because I think he is like 85 years old.  So, its likely I have more time left than he does.  

[ShrekTheTank]

It truly amazes me how some people think you owe them something?!  regardless of what you have, they did not go through what you did!  They did not sacrifice the way you did for our country!  They do not have the every day health issues we have (Which we did not have prior to service)!  The cost of "Freedom" is not free!  It can be the ultimate price to pay!  I think most of us would give up every penny to have our health back and be able to live a normal life!  I know I would!!!

Anyway you deserve everything you get!  If you choose to smoke two packs a day or you want a New truck.  It is your choice and no one else should tell you what to do with your money!  

My wife told me the other day she feels guilty and sometime feels like a hand out.  I had to explain to her how I was 100% healthy before going into the military and now I have 3-4 surgeries a year and am on a list of medications just to get through a day!  She said but still, and I said still nothing!  could you imagine the amount of hospital bills we would have?  I told her this is their cost for making us into human lab rats.

I told her we also give a lot to charity and help a bunch of people.  I can understand where she is coming from, but for me this is a battle I will have for a long time!  I will prevail and I will pay it forward every chance I get!  

[paulstrgn]

58 minutes ago, shrekthetank1 said:

I think most of us would give up every penny to have our health back and be able to live a normal life!  I know I would!!!

That is so true, the extra money is nice but I would be happy to give it all up not to hurt anymore. We gave up a lot by going into the military, we sacrificed our bodies and mind for our country and others made the supreme sacrifice by giving their lives!

Shrek your wife should not feel guilty for what she thinks are handouts, our country should be the ones who feel guilty that there are so many men and women of the armed forces that need this assistance. We have earned everything we get, its not charity and it’s not a hand out it’s what we earned!!!

I have been told by coworkers that I am lucky because when I retire from the federal government, I will get three retirement checks (my military, from work, and SS, they don’t know about the VA). I tell them that they could have had the same thing if they were willing to join the military and stick it out for a retirement check. They don’t say anything to that.

We have earned what we get from the VA by our sacrifices and we should never feel guilty about what little money we may get. I thank all the men and women who made the sacrifices in the military for my family and I to enjoy the freedoms we have!!!

Bronco I am with you on the truck payment vs smoking cigarettes, they made their choice. I would rather have the truck!

[GBArmy]

People are strange. And some really are jealous. I worked for defense company and had 25 years in when I retired, so I get a pension. It's not as much as from SS but it's good. A "friend" said to me that I was lucky that I get 2 retirement checks. I just said "lucky" had nothing to do with it; it was a choice I made. You had the same choice, but didn't do it. The response was yea, well I wouldn't work for a Defense Contractor. All I said was, yes ,that was your choice, and just walked away. Whatever benefit a veteran choices to receive is his or hers alone; it is a VETERAN's benefit. No other class of citizen can receive a VETERAN benefit. It was earned. You earn benefits. When some starts down that path and they are retired, ask them if they receive SS benefits. They say of course. Ask them why; shouldn't you leave that for someone else who "really" needs it? It's the same; someone who collects SS has earned the benefit by putting taxes into it their whole life. They have EARNED it. We veterans have earned our (inadequate) benefits by putting ourselves on the line. People are strange. And some are jealous.

[vetquest]

@shrekthetank1 As far as it being a handout, I went without benefits the first year I was disabled out of the military, it was hard, I sold my truck and my wife cried over doctors that I was not able to see because we did not have enough money.  A friend loaned us about $30,000 which we paid back as soon as we could.  The emotional stress on my family with me not being employed and not getting the medical care I needed was beyond comprehension.  I once was told by a pharmacy tech that my medication was expensive and I should be thankful for the handout.  I about lost it, he was a young man with a good job telling me when I was disabled out of service and I was told by a doctor that my disability would probably kill me before I was 25 I was getting a handout.  Without benefits some of us disabled veterans would lose everything we have including our families.

Military disability benefits are not a handout, they are solely to reimburse you for your loss and they do not make them easy to get.

[broncovet]

I agree with Vetquest.  When we go to work "for a company" they often provide health insurance and/or disability insurance to some degree, as well as a retirement.  

Nobody tells the employee:

 

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Gee, you didnt "earn" that health insurance, retirement or disability insurance, that is just a hand out.

No, it was "part of our" compenation package, and why we chose to work for that company.  (Tho sometimes we did not have a lot of options).  

So, why is it that "Veterans health and/or disability compensation, is "somehow" a handout?

There are, for example, a few companies that hire people to work overseas.  (A fair portion of the time, they like to hire Veterans, because many times Vets have experience "being away from home" for long periods working in a particularly dangerous place).  When they do that, they often have to vastly increase the compensation in order to get people to travel to foreign (and sometimes hostile) nations risking their lives for their "job".  I think at least one company pays their overseas workers around 150,000 per year. 

Now, for me, I never earned more than about 700 monthly while in the military.  (Of course that was years ago).  

So, what is wrong with availing ourslelves of this health, disability insurance that "came as a benefit" to get us to join the military as a very dangerous occupation, where we could be injured or killed "at work"?

Its not welfare, most of us "gave up" 4 years of our lives, where (I could not) visit my family on Christmas, holidays, birthdays, etc., and I signed on the dotted line knowing I could be sent into hostile territory any day.  Many/most of us "risked our lives" for our benefits, a price that many Vets had to pay.  Im not going to "feel guilty" I was not one of those who died in action.   I lost friends in the Vietnam war.  I dont have to "use the back door" to get my benefits that I risked my life (and even paid for with reduced earnings!!).  

I hold my head up high "even tho" I was booed at the airport in uniform during the Vietnam war.  Nobody thanked us for service, instead they accused me of being a "war monger" killing civilians.  No, I didnt kill any civilians, nor did I kill the enemy.  But, I would have, had the need arise.  I deserve my benefits, and Im sure other Vets do too.  

 

If you go to your bed at night and can safely sleep, then thank the military who are "on duty" while we sleep protecting us 24/7 from hostile actions around the globe.  I was part of that force, and now I get to benfit from "being off duty" while other troops go on shift and protect me.  Thank a Vet if you can sleep safe tonight.  

Edited January 19, 2020 by broncovet