ptsd Hoarding...is It Related To A Control Issue?

[halos2]

Since being not able to work for quite some years I have become someone who insists on keeping everything. I read as much as I can about the VA system. Over the years I have become a "horder." Everything is clean, but in abundance. Too many clothes, saving from childen's young ages. Too many magazines, newspapers, peridiocals, journals, 3 printers worth of VA case studies/va hints from vets of claim issues/downloads of regulations/statues...papers...papers and more papers. And all of my books, VBM, VA claims self help books...

I know I can't control so many things/issues in my life but I can on what I want to keep.

I believe my PTSD/OCD/Chronic Anxiety/Chronic Depression has truly manifested in the outward problem of being a horder.

I can't control the outcome of my claim, what another may approve/disaprove with their acceptance/rejection, but I can or maybe I can't? control my surroundings. I become overwhelmed when I look at the boxes, bags, stacks of STUFF!

I feel I am somewhat rational, am educated, basically have a good heart when it come to helping others...but this is way too powerful!

It sucumbs me, and envelopes me in the surrounding and mountains of STUFF! Why I ask myself each day? Because in my life and how it has changed THIS is, although ridiculous, what I CAN CONTROL.

When my family ask why I blow it off.

One's socioeconomic level has nothing to do with this behavior. I feel my inability to perform in the healthcare industry, as I did for years, has left me with such idle time that I have to be able to control something...it is not forfilling/nor is any satisfaction received keeping the stuff...but...but that is the wall that's blocking discarding that which is truly of no value.

I have put trash bags in each room to discard papers, and boxes to give away clothes, but they are less than 1/2 full over a few weeks time.

Control is power to me...last I give up some to reap the rewards of an uncluttered space would afford me some peace in my life. Anyone else have this problem related to their claims issues?? I have never smoked, or drank alcoholic beverages, which I know some people use to help them survive. But keeping SO much stuff is wearing me down. I have tried a little discarding at a time, but the mounds are vast.

Really inquiring if there are any other HORDERS out there?? Is your behavior related to your claims dealings too??

Edited October 29, 2009 by halos2

[Berta]

Halos- I know someone who is in this predicament.

It can be a OCD problem.But I am not a doctor. I watched some TV shows that dealt with hoarding and realized the woman I know has a vast sense of loss-that she seems to overcome by hoarding.She is in a bad state- one would never know -but she confided in me that she has not cleaned in 20 years and her home is a fire hazard.She only has two relatives -and they are elderly and everyone else in her family is dead.

I would think that PTSD or any SC disability could turn into hoarding problems.

You are many steps ahead on this as you recognize this is a problem you really don't want to have.

"Is your behavior related to your claims dealings too?? "

I bet this can be definitely related to the claims process.We are afraid to throw away anything that involves VA paperwork.

But I have opposite compulsion-I am Mrs Clean! If I go on a vacation=I clean the hotel room.I am a fanatic when it comes to cleaning-which is exhausting.

BUT one thing for sure- when I dealt with my VA claims- this compulsion made me keep everything in order-

I get depressed and distracted by any clutter.

It helps to have a clear head dealing with VA if we can do that in a quite spot free from lots of stuff laying around.

Maybe taking one room at a time would help-or just trying to streamline one room and put the stuff somewhere else if you cant get rid of it yet.

One room that is devoted to a quiet place to think-

Easy for me to say-the woman I mentioned is very smart, certainly not nuts and certainly not lazy-people don't hoard because they are lazy-somehow it often fills a need they have to replace.

I hope others will respond to this because I think this is more prevalent then we know.And I think the claims process gives us so much stress it is bound to cause all sorts of behavior like this.

[jbasser]

Berta nailed it. It is a symptom of OCD.

J

[Pete53]

I concur

Halos you probably need to duscuss this with a professional. My only suggestion is to consider donating some clothes or electronics to an organization that will pick up at your home. Start out small.

[carlie]

Since being not able to work for quite some years I have become someone who insists on keeping everything. Over the years I have become a "horder." Everything is clean, but in abundance. Too many clothes, saving from childen's young ages. Too many magazines, newspapers, peridiocals, journals, 3 printers worth of VA case studies/va hints from vets of claim issues/downloads of regulations/statues...papers...papers and more papers. And all of my books, VBM, VA claims self help books...

I know I can't control so many things/issues in my life but I can on what I want to keep.

halos2,

In reading the above I feel you and I are conjoined twins, sharing arteries

that sustain life.

I believe my PTSD/OCD/Chronic Anxiety/Chronic Depression has truly manifested in the outward problem of being a horder.

I can't control the outcome of my claim, what another may approve/disaprove with their acceptance/rejection, but I can or maybe I can't? control my surroundings. I become overwhelmed when I look at the boxes, bags, stacks of STUFF!

I feel I am somewhat rational, am educated, basically have a good heart when it come to helping others...but this is way too powerful!

It sucumbs me, and envelopes me in the surrounding and mountains of STUFF! Why I ask myself each day? Because in my life and how it has changed THIS is, although ridiculous, what I CAN CONTROL.

halos2,

I hear you loud and clear !

When my family ask why I blow it off.

halos2,

When my family or visitors would ask, my response was something like,

welcome to my dump.

One's socioeconomic level has nothing to do with this behavior. I feel my inability to perform in the healthcare industry, as I did for years, has left me with such idle time that I have to be able to control something...it is not forfilling/nor is any satisfaction received keeping the stuff...but...but that is the wall that's blocking discarding that which is truly of no value.

halos2,

Take a moment and think about this.

When you were employed, you had more cash to buy things with,

you didn't need to hang onto everything then, you could easily

get rid of something and replace it.

Also, you probably got out and about alot more due to working.

When we stay home the majority of our time, then we keep everything

because we know, we don't want to leave the house for much, so we

keep it - in case we need it later, then we will have it and not have to

leave the house.

Even if it has no apparent value, it maybe something we can make do with

tomorrow, next week or next month.

Your mindset is probably like mine, thinking that I or someone I know

will probably need this so I don't want to get rid of it.

I have put trash bags in each room to discard papers, and boxes to give away clothes, but they are less than 1/2 full over a few weeks time.

Control is power to me...last I give up some to reap the rewards of an uncluttered space would afford me some peace in my life.

halos2 - Yes, control over our surroundings,gives us at least some type of power.

Anyone else have this problem related to their claims issues?? I have never smoked, or drank alcoholic beverages, which I know some people use to help them survive. But keeping SO much stuff is wearing me down. I have tried a little discarding at a time, but the mounds are vast.

Really inquiring if there are any other HORDERS out there?? Is your behavior related to your claims dealings too??

halos 2 - recently some VERY GOOD friends came to my house for five week-ends

in a row (about an 80 mile drive) and helped me dig my way out.

Many times I would get pissed-off and say - NO - I am not throwing away,

giving away or donating this. Then I would turn and walk away from them

and either go into another room or walk outside. I would be so mad and

angry with them.

It truly did turn out to be a great experience and those guys are

saints in my book, for putting up with and accepting my behavior.

Prior to starting this huge project - I called and ordered a POD Storage building to be delivered and I kept it for two months, it was a wonderful tool to have

for this project.

I have pretty much ended my un-needed purchases and collecting any junk to weigh me down.

Just an FYI - when I was first told by two VA doc's that I could not

work anymore, I started collecting all the good junk I couls find and

would sell it at the flea markets or in an antique spot I rented,

This is all I could do to hang on untill VA comp and SSDI kicked in more.

Well - that and scrap junk metal, mow a few yards in my neighborhood.

Have others help you lighten your load - it is truly a freeing experience

when it is finished.

jmho,

carlie

[Wings]

x

x

x

I have a boyfriend that "hoards", and when he's not looking, I take it to the dump. I like my rucksack light and easy to carry. I was always of the mind, when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose! I am afraid to get attached to anything or anyone: opposite end of the spectrum but fear or anxiety is the same cause. ~Wings

[akwidow]

my late hubby was a hoarder too. He had so much old ugly stuff in the yard, that people were known to pull out of our driveway rather than come in. I had to haul a lot of eyesore away after he died.