ptsd Do I Have Ptsd?

[szuhay18]

I recently separated from the Army after 10 years, I served 1 year in Korea on a 4 man DMZ patrol/monitor detachment, and 13 months in Iraq (2010) as an Electronic Warfare Systems Integrator. I had my share of convoys, rocket attacks (at least weekly), QRF casualty duties, and attempted infiltrations for attack/abductions by the enemy - usually while sleeping. I took no life and came back with my brain and body physically intact. Since Iraq, I (as well as loved ones) have noticed a difference in my personality/actions. I'm anxious all the time which leads to small panic attacks and anger to anyone/thing near me. I randomly think of violence and how society is blind to reality of it all and find myself more aggressive in nature. My mood literally goes from ok - anxiety - anger - hate - depression within minutes and will recycle itself.

I hate crowds and will avoid them at all costs, I have trouble when not facing an entry/exit point while out and about. I have trouble staying asleep at night because I feel like someone is in my house, sometimes checking on my kids in an aggressive panic throughout the night, I've even felt like I see someone's shadow in their hallway at times. Random images of my loved one's being killed in the typical terrorist fashion pops in my head randomly throughout the day...I hate it and have to shut down and force my thoughts on things that make me happy. I constantly lock any door I'm around and carry while home. I hold a decent job but have to step away to calm my anxiety and anger and at times want to give up when the depression hits. I feel too guilty to claim this since I have friends and family that have much worse experiences from the military and just can't figure out how and why I've turned out to be this way...any input is much appreciated.

[ArNG11]

Wow this sounds all too familiar. Almost down to the last detail. First thank you for your service. Truly. You seem to have a lot of classic symptoms. The fact is traumatic experiences affect us all differently. I use to think the same. I wasn't infantry. I didn't help take a hill, but I've been shot at and had mortars and rockets come in. We all react differently to stressors so don't be ashamed or feel guilty. The key is to realize that you have some problems. Which is okay. We all have them. Learning to deal and cope with them are a whole different ball game. The key is to seek help. Whether by VA or privately. From experience the VA does have some good tools and programs. JMO you should try to utilize them. You're not a lone bud. Hang in there.

[bionoce]

Text book PTSD, guilt is part of it. Seek treatment and file man.

[Berta]

Absolutely,

Bionoce and ARng11 are right.

[szuhay18]

Thanks all, it's nice to have outside input from others...guess I'll be making a call to the VA and go from there.

[WVSERVER]

I was never in combat I have all the symptoms you state which started in service for me my VA Doc say I have all the classic symptoms of PTSD but lack a stressor for VA standards which I agree with I am service connected for Major Depressive Disorder with anxious distress. I have been thru CBT, CPT and Bio Feedback. So even if you don't think its PTSD still seek help all the recycling of emotions really becomes hard on our families seek help and support for them also.

[Philip Rogers]

Oh yeah, you probably have it! Just so you know it's nothing to be ashamed of, either!!! I suggest you seek counseling, either thru a Vet Center, or the VA, and you should probably file a claim for it. jmo

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