Suggestion

[Berta]

Mods please chime in

We get convoluted questions here from time to time because people are asking questions for a friend or relative.

Isnt it much better if these individuals simply join us themselves if they have PC access?

What gets me too-is that I sometimes get emails from some of my vets org members telling me they are helping a veteran with a VA claim and then they ask me how to help the veteran-

I send them to hadit.I dont do claims stuff in emails.

Everything they need is here and they get more help than advice from just one person.

I can understand that many dont have access to hadit- but still a lot can be lost or misunderstood when the info goes through 3 rd person.

[gdsnide]

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I run hot and cold helping with claims issues; depends on how my brain is functioning. But, I have driven vets to doctor's appointments or to a social security office, grocery shopping and the like. And it's true, that not many vets have computer access at home. ~Wings

Wings...If a Vet can work a Computer there is one (Or several) in every public Library. At least it's like that in Mo.....GARY

[jbasser]

This is a very interesting topic.

Hadit is a place with a very diverse membership. There are so many differrent folks who have become well versed in their spacific issues. We should go as far as we can to help someone but is it not the intent of our mission to show them the way so they can help themselves?

We should not get exact involvement unless you actually know a person and have access to their information so you can show them the way.

I have went out on a line and helped a couple of folks and I am happy I did it. I have made 2 life long friends,

We should use caution when handing out advice as Berta pointed out.

We should show them the way. If a person does not have computer access or ability to use a computer, the VA still hass forms and they still make pens. If a person needs a computer and cannot operate one, A family member usually has the knowledge.

J

[vmo]

I like it when some one posts-- some much needed information, direction, suggestions, past experiences, useful web cites, and especially success stories--what worked for them. Nothing is wrong with constructive criticism, but not personal. I consider no one on here as an expert, just some people with a lot of experience and knowledge, and some not so much. Each day will be a learning experience for some and a teaching experience for others. But, I find almost all posts helpful. Some people request help, some give it out. In closing, read some of the testimonies various vets have posted giving praise and credit to Hadit. I do not look at it as libel or liability, but a responsibility to each other.

[trailblazer]

This is a very good topic. Vets have to have solid rock hard evidence to prove their claim and that has to come from the vet involved.

[Jim MAC]

When you have to start getting information for other vets like stressor verfications we helpers are getting in deep. If the vet can't do it for themselves or hire a lawyer to do it then it becomes a full time unpaid job. Giving advice is one thing but doing it for someone else is a whole different matter. I tried to help a widow get a war pension and it opened my eyes. Her husband was not ever even in the military. Those least able to help themselves, and I mean the sickest people, have the least chance of winning their claim. Especially, if they are homeless and/or mentally disabled. It is survival of the fittest in the world of the unfit.

John

I am a little bit jadeed I will not help anybody intil I see the DD form 214. I have heleped a few vets who have had a increase in ther % I due charge a bottle of Jim Beam for every 10 percent awared. But they have to come over to my house and drink it with me and my wife cooks them a good dinner. Berta If it was not for you I would still be 60 percent not knocking on the door to 90 percent you haveing givien me and a few vets i WORK WITH MORE THEN ANY HELP you will ever now god bless you

Jim

[halos2]

My reasoning was based on part as some of the va staff project the know it all attitude. Almost superior god-like. If you have not walked in one's shoes or experienced the trauma/injury along with that person don't be so almighty and project the know it all. The vet is discounted not only as a claim but is felt discounted as a person. Denial and negative projection can destroy someone.

When a person attempts to(personal exp) cope with ptsd, the negative feelings surround them. They can't think, feel, live, eat, sleep,work, may experience outbursts or be violent or prefer aloneness. These issues are some of the the challenges they try to live with. Don't forget about low self esteem, anger amongst the many issues not inclusive of some addresses here.

When one has not experienced this type of trauma, or witnessed the impact on the persons life, or shared a life with that person, another may have a difficult time understanding/helping that person. They may put up barriers and not be open and maybe even lack any humility along and not even show some compassion.

You don't have to like the vet,(or whoever the person is, but I am referring to vets here) but to show even the slightest respect for a fellow man/girl kind for they did serve, could have even a slight impact to a positiveness on that person's feelings.

The repeated denials, and far to many posted here alone on this site, the va is exemplifying superiousness. No it's a job, even though denials may bring benefits in bonus to some, the vet is trampled upon. The va worker (rater,provider,dro,etc) is not any better than a another person, circumstances change and people change and labeling, denying without just reason is wrong no matter who does it. No they do not know it all. No one in the world living knows it all.

Case after case, denial after denial,WHY?? We know why!

PTSD can be put aside as evidenced in marriages, having children, graduating school, or collegse, working at a fulfilling job,etc. It is never ever forgotten!! A brief time it is put aside when someone said "I do", or witnessed a birth, death, kid playing sports, or dance, cheerleading, awards received for academics, etc...for a brief time the vet saw that joy, so that is what I meant by putting it aside...if not then none of the vets with it would have ever had the moment to marry, have ever experienced a satisfying relationship at all with anyone, ever cared for someone and more never have allowed someone to care for them. We feel like zombies sometimes and if having never experienced any positiveness in life we would probably be instutionalized, incarcerated, or dead.

It never escapes our mind, but how we can chose to deal with it at that individual time is our option.(some days we wander and cannot realize we may have a choice and there may be an option like to get out of bed, take a bath, read a book, watch tv, or log on to the internet...)

The sorrowful days may out number the fair ones but we still strive to live. Sometimes I feel like a split personality; my person, and my ptsd person. The outside one looking in may see a person, but me looking out is determined by my ptsd the majority of my waking life.

Right now I chose to attempt to focus on this site, although sometimes I ramble(hint), but I find solace here, refuge here, and can finally let more of those feelings out in a fairly save environment. Do I have to stop crying, you bet, do I have to backspace what I wrote to concentrate on my subject matter, oh yeah, but I can do this where I am alone. No pretentiousness here. What you read is what I type.

A Berta stated "many many vets here have ptsd and they still have open minds, "yes as Open minds allow room for growth... while are minds are open, the ptsd is not encompasing our being, it may move aside to allow for growth and knowledge. Hadit and all it's participants, help to expand on our minds and may ground us even if just for a moment.

[quote name='Berta' date='Apr 30 2009, 10:54 AM' post='142891

Halos said

"The day someone thinks they know it all is the day they need to travel down another road. Be humble people open your mind to new adventures, when you can try and move the ptsd aside even for just a brief moment."

I dont quite get your point -no one knows it all- you should talk to some of the lawyers for vets-

it is impossible even for them to know it all-last night at SVR we discussed a reg that many many vets have never heard of-only 2 a year ever even use the reg -

But I agree sometimes we all have to pick a new road to travel-

PTSD cannot really ever be put aside-

Many many vets here have PTSD and they still have open minds.

If some of you have the time it takes to help vets and then come here with their questions that is wonderful.

But there are always sometimes unanswered questions here for days at a time -from members of hadit.

Edited May 2, 2009 by halos2