ptsd Vv Bronze Star Valor + Other Citations & Awards

[halos2]

VV mean, nasty, abusive, threatening others at work, and at home. Finally got into a TX program for 2 months. Began PTSD TX program being honest..Told of killings, terrors seen and done to others(validated on awards and citations) and night terrors of screaming with nightmares, and emotional episodes experienced.

Then suddenly half way during the program VV decided to work program for helping the others and not self.

Came with a GAF of 45 and left with a GAF 55. Did not want to appear "crazy' TO OTHERS, and wanted to take on a role of "father or care taker" to all the younger vets in the program.

He wanted to make friends and not let anyone see him as tainted and disturbed! He has been mean and violent to his wife and family over 41 years, and has control issues. Lost jobs because of temper and threatening remarks made to co-workers.

Is 64 and put in for SS and receives it, however never put in for SSDI.

I think he did an injustice to himself and to the program, and they allowed it to happen. He is violent and wants others to think he is a "nice guy."

I believe he blew his chance to ever get a higher % for his mental issues. His family are still in shock that he did not tell the truth and get the treatment he needed.

How and why would a mental health program allow that to happen? I read his complete C-File and his therapy notes, and his PTSD program Tx notes, and it as if someone turned a switch on or off to change his working in the program for himself, to working the program to help others. This is sad the therapists didn't "Call him out on this" trying to avoid self care, and avoid self expression.

Edited May 16, 2011 by halos2

[john999]

Denial is part of the syndrome and a patient getting better on paper means success for the program. The stats are all.

He probably needs help from private therapist who is not trying to make good stats.

[Berta]

This post stressed me out for many reasons.

Not your fault Halos, but there are actually PTSD vets out there who use their PTSD as an excuse to bully and control others.

“he is violent and wants others to think he is a "nice guy. “

The PTSD MH workers at VA have probably seen through that already. But maybe not.

By TX do you mean a detox program?

“How and why would a mental health program allow that to happen? “

He sounds like a very successful manipulator.However the VA MH program can only do so much and he has to cooperate with them.

When I used to work with local NY vets I dealt with some vets like this. A few turned on me because I didn't have a magic wand for their claims or could do nothing to speed up their decisions.I realized that this was why they came to me because as they said “no vet rep would help” them.

“He has been mean and violent to his wife and family over 41 years “ That will NEVER change without extensive therapy.If it changes at all.e has made this behavior his lifestyle.

You will possibly become his blame target too if you continue to try and help him.

The wife needs a support system. She should also have access to a safe house.She probably has a high level of PTSD from him by now.

And if he ever hits her she should have him arrested and follow through on charges because even if he says he wont hit her again, the chances are that he definitely will.

[jbasser]

That is why I always say this: Do not let your Service connected disability or disability control your life. You have to remain in control.

That includes PTSD.

PTSD is an ugly monster that can cause yourself and others to suffer great harm.

J

[alphahec]

I fully concur with what jbasser has stated!!! Can't get anything like that control who you are!!!

[halos2]

I gave your responses to his wife. She said he was in a treatment program specifically for PTSD. He started the program working the assignments then saw where he was looked at with pity for his experiences and then he changed his focus stating he felt guilty for years of abuse to his family and infidelity to his wife. She asked him why he didn't work on his anger and night terrors of killing the enemy, and she said his response was "You told me to tell them my problems, and I figured I would tell them I felt guilty so I said I cheated all these years!"

This guy must be a real doosey. He says he said that because he had to tell them something? Why the heck didn't he stay with the trauma focus, as his records state them exactly? Now he tells her he didn't cheat on her, which she said he did but denied it all these years. I feel sorry for her. He sounds like a real dirt bag. I do believe she is one argument away from violence. I want to help her but if she doesn't want to seek change I don't want to be a part of what could occur. Now he blames her for "making him go" and says he better not get his comp reduced. It was her idea for him to get better and stop the violence, and now she said it backfired.

I think I need to distance myself from the entire situation. They both are ill and co dependent on each others weaknesses. Too bad the guy wasn't honest and told the truth of his war traumas. Thanks for all suggestions, and I need to worry about other things and people who want help.

Edited May 17, 2011 by halos2

[Berta]

"and says he better not get his comp reduced."

My past experience working for VA as well as dealing with many PTSD vets ,many who are my friends and one was my husband tells me

I think he might sure be right on anticipating a reduction.

Halos your time and energy are too valuable for this veteran and his wife.

She needs help as much as he does but you are correct-this is a codependent relationship that goes beyond PTSD.