diabetes I'm The New Guy!

[Toposurveyor]

Just to let you know, I'm really not sure how to state what I am thinking. I will do my best.

At my last annual physical at the VAMC, my NP asked if anything else was bothering me. I talked about some urology problems not connected to my SC Diabetes Type II. She made a consult for me. My appointment was with a PA as the Urologist only comes to our VAMC once a month and this PA does a pre-screening for him. We met Jan 3, and discussed my problem. After a good q&a session, and I assumed we were done, he asked an unusual question. He asked "how my soul was". He was not a veteran, but had empathy for what any vet who had been in a war area had gone through. I had to think, and many things came to mind. I have not remembered a dream for many, many years. I wake up sometimes with a start, heart beating fast, short of breath so I am sure it was a dream. I am pretty much emotionless around my family and have been for many years. But, show me a veteran from Vietnam or Iraq/Afganistan with severe injuries and I get chocked up. A WWII Pearl Harbor survivor and close freind of mine recently passed away and it was very hard for me. I see a service man/woman and want to go shake thier hand and thank them. So, I told the PA that I felt troubled. He offered a consult with the facility at my VAMC, but for the moment I declined.

I have a good home life. Maybe I have drank too much at times in the past, but I try to avoid that now, most of the time. I have a great wife and great children. The kids are out on thier own for a few years now. We live in a small town and I try to avoid large cities and big crowds for the most part, including visiting my parents and siblings who live in a highly populated area.

I was not a combat soldier, but during my tour in Vietnam, there were no front lines to avoid. We had our share of excitement. When I returned home, few people wanted to hear my stories so I stopped trying to tell them. Now, trying to remember names, dates, and places is very difficult for me. Even at my job, from which I am retired now, if I did not write info down, I had a hard time remembering the facts.

I'm not sure where I will go from here. I think the PA I visited has the right idea, but I will have to make that decision. I apologize for this long rambling, but I feel this is the place that people do understand this feeling of mine.

For the record: I am 62, served in the Army Dec 31, 1964 - October 5, 1967, and was in Vietnam Octber 1966 - October 3, 1967.

Edited February 10, 2007 by Toposurveyor

[Pete53]

Topo:

Nice explanation of you. You are a decent man who has kept his family and has learned to adapt. A survivor in my book. I wish you the best.

[B 2/75]

Toposurveyer, were you mapping for the Engineers / Defense Mapping Agency, or where you a Field Artillery surveyor? Either way, in my book you were out and about, well exposed to getting zapped. Thanks for helping create the base that our modern forces are standing so tall upon.

I'm an OIF Vet, currently 80%. Believe me, you're doing well. Very well. Being rather emotionally flat is something I'm getting pretty used to being, other than when I'm around other Vets, just as you said.

Regards,

- J

[Toposurveyor]

B 2/75,

Thank you for your service.

Our unit was the 66th Engineer Co. (Topographic)(Corps). There was a HQ, Survey, Cartographic, and Reproduction platoon. As I recollect, all the survey work was reviewed by Army Map Service. At nearly all, if not all, survey locations, we left an azimuth for artillery use. The Carto & Repro platoons were in the business of making maps for the attached Map Depot.

Ed

[john999]

A lot of us in RVN were not infantry soldiers per 11B, but we got around and were in many scary situations feeling naked and alone in areas where people were being blown up and shot. Life in a combat zone is another world.