justrluk

First, I'm so sorry you experienced this. No one should ever have to witness what you experienced. The sense of helplessness you experienced is normal for those normally in a position to defend and help those that can't do for themselves. CBT is designed to help you re-map your thinking by thinking about what you are thinking and feeling. You are attempting to replace unsupported conclusions with fact-based reasoning. It's not an easy task.
My suggestion: remember your wife loves you. You control your thoughts and reactions, so start doing it. She deserves the best 'you' you can offer. You need to remember that she's on your side, but not obligated to help you deal with your issues. That's what the professional psychs are there for. What she might be open to: you explaining how your feeling and that you know your reactions aren't rational, but that you're trying to fix them. Realize that if you don't fix your reactions, you risk losing your wife. If you think you have issues now, try to imagine her not wanting to deal with you and leaving. Would you want to implode your life? Probably not. Again, remember she's trying to understand but can never really understand what you're going through because/unless she's had a similar experience. Have empathy for her - when she talks, listen - really listen - to what she's saying, without looking for hidden meaning. More than likely she's not attacking you but frustrated that she can't help you.
I would not focus on working through the issues, not so much on the diagnosis. If the medication isn't working, ask for something else. It took me several tries with different meds to find a combination of two that work. Take care of the home-front - make it a priority. Let her know you've made it a priority. It may take a while to stop reliving the events, but they will subside with time. You have to replace them with positive events (thus the CBT). Follow the process for CBT - keep a thought journal and work it every day. Write in a personal journal, then review it when the strong feelings have passed. I'm just letting you know what works for me. Whatever you do, don't give up on yourself or your wife. Remember how you feel about her when things are good when you're feeling bad. It will help.

In several ways, I'm in the same boat. I was medically retired, but see no retirement income. The offset of VA comp takes care of that. I'm still repaying my disability severance received from the AF, which if I knew it would only be a loan, I would have hired a lawyer to help keep me in the service as long as possible. Water under the bridge at this point. In the process, I went bankrupt paying medical bills until the VA started taking care of the biggest medical issues. I paid all creditors and got to keep my 11-year-old vehicle. Most of the compensation I got from the VA covered housing and food and clothing. My pay- 3/4 of it - went to pay creditors. After several years of paying things off, several conditions got worse and I was increased to 100% schedular. I was working for the government as a disabled vet, so at least I had some health insurance, dental, etc. Never had any dental or family benefits from the VA until recently. Then, after an eight-year (or so) appeal, I was awarded P&T. At least now my kids can get an education and my wife has something more than a bare-bones insurance payout if I pass. Even while working, I spent most of last year in the hospital with several surgeries. I could not have planned for this, but at least with the VA I was covered. I took leave without pay and lost a lot of income and am paying back insurance, etc. just to keep up.
My point is this: we all have our own circumstances, how we got where we are and what our lives mean to us. I agree: I'd rather at least try to work as long as I am able than not. However, I learned in the last year that things don't always work out the way you think they will. While sitting in the hospital, the only real comfort in all of it was knowing my kids would get an education and my wife would be able to survive on the death benefits. The way I see it, at least I didn't loose my family over all this mess. I've been real close to death a few too many times in the last year to don't take any of this for granted. I'll tell you what I was told when I first entered the VA system (by my PC doc): are you prepared for the day you can no longer work? John and many others here have had to face that issue and I'm sure would choose to work as much as they could. Just my thoughts - I think working is great but I've had to come to grips with not being able to work - it wasn't pretty. You may have touched that 'third rail' without knowing it.
Last thoughts: be prepared for the day you can no longer work. It wasn't a goal for me, but a brick wall I hit most of last year. I was prepared financially (only because of VA benefits), but not emotionally.

In several ways, I'm in the same boat. I was medically retired, but see no retirement income. The offset of VA comp takes care of that. I'm still repaying my disability severance received from the AF, which if I knew it would only be a loan, I would have hired a lawyer to help keep me in the service as long as possible. Water under the bridge at this point. In the process, I went bankrupt paying medical bills until the VA started taking care of the biggest medical issues. I paid all creditors and got to keep my 11-year-old vehicle. Most of the compensation I got from the VA covered housing and food and clothing. My pay- 3/4 of it - went to pay creditors. After several years of paying things off, several conditions got worse and I was increased to 100% schedular. I was working for the government as a disabled vet, so at least I had some health insurance, dental, etc. Never had any dental or family benefits from the VA until recently. Then, after an eight-year (or so) appeal, I was awarded P&T. At least now my kids can get an education and my wife has something more than a bare-bones insurance payout if I pass. Even while working, I spent most of last year in the hospital with several surgeries. I could not have planned for this, but at least with the VA I was covered. I took leave without pay and lost a lot of income and am paying back insurance, etc. just to keep up.
My point is this: we all have our own circumstances, how we got where we are and what our lives mean to us. I agree: I'd rather at least try to work as long as I am able than not. However, I learned in the last year that things don't always work out the way you think they will. While sitting in the hospital, the only real comfort in all of it was knowing my kids would get an education and my wife would be able to survive on the death benefits. The way I see it, at least I didn't loose my family over all this mess. I've been real close to death a few too many times in the last year to don't take any of this for granted. I'll tell you what I was told when I first entered the VA system (by my PC doc): are you prepared for the day you can no longer work? John and many others here have had to face that issue and I'm sure would choose to work as much as they could. Just my thoughts - I think working is great but I've had to come to grips with not being able to work - it wasn't pretty. You may have touched that 'third rail' without knowing it.
Last thoughts: be prepared for the day you can no longer work. It wasn't a goal for me, but a brick wall I hit most of last year. I was prepared financially (only because of VA benefits), but not emotionally.

In several ways, I'm in the same boat. I was medically retired, but see no retirement income. The offset of VA comp takes care of that. I'm still repaying my disability severance received from the AF, which if I knew it would only be a loan, I would have hired a lawyer to help keep me in the service as long as possible. Water under the bridge at this point. In the process, I went bankrupt paying medical bills until the VA started taking care of the biggest medical issues. I paid all creditors and got to keep my 11-year-old vehicle. Most of the compensation I got from the VA covered housing and food and clothing. My pay- 3/4 of it - went to pay creditors. After several years of paying things off, several conditions got worse and I was increased to 100% schedular. I was working for the government as a disabled vet, so at least I had some health insurance, dental, etc. Never had any dental or family benefits from the VA until recently. Then, after an eight-year (or so) appeal, I was awarded P&T. At least now my kids can get an education and my wife has something more than a bare-bones insurance payout if I pass. Even while working, I spent most of last year in the hospital with several surgeries. I could not have planned for this, but at least with the VA I was covered. I took leave without pay and lost a lot of income and am paying back insurance, etc. just to keep up.
My point is this: we all have our own circumstances, how we got where we are and what our lives mean to us. I agree: I'd rather at least try to work as long as I am able than not. However, I learned in the last year that things don't always work out the way you think they will. While sitting in the hospital, the only real comfort in all of it was knowing my kids would get an education and my wife would be able to survive on the death benefits. The way I see it, at least I didn't loose my family over all this mess. I've been real close to death a few too many times in the last year to don't take any of this for granted. I'll tell you what I was told when I first entered the VA system (by my PC doc): are you prepared for the day you can no longer work? John and many others here have had to face that issue and I'm sure would choose to work as much as they could. Just my thoughts - I think working is great but I've had to come to grips with not being able to work - it wasn't pretty. You may have touched that 'third rail' without knowing it.
Last thoughts: be prepared for the day you can no longer work. It wasn't a goal for me, but a brick wall I hit most of last year. I was prepared financially (only because of VA benefits), but not emotionally.

In several ways, I'm in the same boat. I was medically retired, but see no retirement income. The offset of VA comp takes care of that. I'm still repaying my disability severance received from the AF, which if I knew it would only be a loan, I would have hired a lawyer to help keep me in the service as long as possible. Water under the bridge at this point. In the process, I went bankrupt paying medical bills until the VA started taking care of the biggest medical issues. I paid all creditors and got to keep my 11-year-old vehicle. Most of the compensation I got from the VA covered housing and food and clothing. My pay- 3/4 of it - went to pay creditors. After several years of paying things off, several conditions got worse and I was increased to 100% schedular. I was working for the government as a disabled vet, so at least I had some health insurance, dental, etc. Never had any dental or family benefits from the VA until recently. Then, after an eight-year (or so) appeal, I was awarded P&T. At least now my kids can get an education and my wife has something more than a bare-bones insurance payout if I pass. Even while working, I spent most of last year in the hospital with several surgeries. I could not have planned for this, but at least with the VA I was covered. I took leave without pay and lost a lot of income and am paying back insurance, etc. just to keep up.
My point is this: we all have our own circumstances, how we got where we are and what our lives mean to us. I agree: I'd rather at least try to work as long as I am able than not. However, I learned in the last year that things don't always work out the way you think they will. While sitting in the hospital, the only real comfort in all of it was knowing my kids would get an education and my wife would be able to survive on the death benefits. The way I see it, at least I didn't loose my family over all this mess. I've been real close to death a few too many times in the last year to don't take any of this for granted. I'll tell you what I was told when I first entered the VA system (by my PC doc): are you prepared for the day you can no longer work? John and many others here have had to face that issue and I'm sure would choose to work as much as they could. Just my thoughts - I think working is great but I've had to come to grips with not being able to work - it wasn't pretty. You may have touched that 'third rail' without knowing it.
Last thoughts: be prepared for the day you can no longer work. It wasn't a goal for me, but a brick wall I hit most of last year. I was prepared financially (only because of VA benefits), but not emotionally.

Just for clarification: your overall percentage is 100% and you have confirmation of Chapter 35 benefits and no further examinations scheduled? If so, working is up to you. If you are TDIU (v. P&T), your rating suggests you are 100% *and/due to* inability to work. So, if 100% P&T, yes you can work. Not P&T (should show on your commissary letter or in a decision if you are), you can work if 100% schedular (total using VA math). 100% due to TDIU, work has limitations.

Contact the service secretary office and raise a fuss. You should have been copied on all actions, and had a chance to appeal the decision while you were in service. If you disagreed with the findings or percentage (like the VA), there is an appeal process = due process.

Some time ago, when the military got nailed for low-balling MEB percentages to save on medical retirements, I was offered a chance to submit a package to upgrade my exit from service. My MEB percentage was raised from 20 - 30% and I was placed on the permanent medical retirement list. If I were you, I would see if the option still exists to challenge your military disability percentage. Go here:
http://www.pebforum.com/site/forums/medical-evaluation-board.42/
and see if the option still exists. I had mine upgraded back to 2004, however I see no income from it due to the VA percentage and offset. I did not qualify for CRSC or CRDP.

Some time ago, when the military got nailed for low-balling MEB percentages to save on medical retirements, I was offered a chance to submit a package to upgrade my exit from service. My MEB percentage was raised from 20 - 30% and I was placed on the permanent medical retirement list. If I were you, I would see if the option still exists to challenge your military disability percentage. Go here:
http://www.pebforum.com/site/forums/medical-evaluation-board.42/
and see if the option still exists. I had mine upgraded back to 2004, however I see no income from it due to the VA percentage and offset. I did not qualify for CRSC or CRDP.

Once my initial certificate was issued, the VA used to take about a month into a course to pay. I think it was a policy of the school not to submit the request until after the last drop date. Now, the school gets paid the week the class starts. Check with your financial aid office and military support office (if you have one) to see what their policy is on when they request funds from the VA. I don't have to re-certify each month, I just stay enrolled. The school and the VA do the rest. Also, if you need it, don't forget you are probably still eligible for student loans.

I need to preface this with a statement that I am not a licensed psychological practitioner, am not providing legal or professional advice and cannot act on anyone's behalf in providing professional services.
IN MY OPINION (only my opinion):
It appears as though you were administered an instrument (the MMPI - Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory - a personality instrument) and then interviewed. According to test results from the National Institutes for Health (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20207423, 2010), the instrument was evaluated for effective detection on those feigning PTSD. Results:
"Diagnostic-specific MMPI-2 validity indicators, such as the Infrequency-PSTD scales and Malingered Depression scale, were not effective at detecting participants instructed to feign those conditions. For the PAI, the most accurate validity indicator was the MAL index; however, the detection rate using this validity indicator was modest at best. The MMPI-2 validity indicators were clearly superior to those on the PAI at identifying feigned versus honest responding in this sample."
This means that the clinician relied on an instrument not designed to indicate PTSD and that is not valid for detecting those pretending to have PTSD. It sounds like (from the text above) they interviewed you then administered the instrument. Is this true? If they conducted an interview, then used an instrument to back up their perception they violated the American Psychological Association (APA) Ethical principles of psychologists and code of conduct (http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/principles.pdf) Code of Standards and Ethical Conduct and the American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA) code of ethics (https://www.amhca.org/assets/news/AMHCA_Code_of_Ethics_2010_w_pagination_cxd_51110.pdf) by relying on the inappropriate use for an instrument beyond its designed intent to reach a biased conclusion. With some research, you could quote the sections. I don't  have time to look at each code to find the specific section numbers, but look for those that discuss what I've told you in this paragraph.
I'm a PhD candidate in psychology with a focus on tests and measures (like the one they used to diagnose you). Copy the above text and add it to your response to the C&P exam and request a new exam. There is no way an instrument can indicate PTSD from a clinical perspective. If the instrument was administered before you were interviewed, the results were biased and therefore invalid and a violation of several ethical codes. The person that conducted the review should be reported to his or her state certification board for this violation and for creating harm (there is a provision for non-malfeasance in the codes as well) as a result of this action. Nail them to the wall for it, then get another evaluation.
Also, from reading the interview notes it appears you've had a history of issues leading up to your present state. The interviewer is giving a whole person picture that doesn't look good for indicating that PTSD was caused by the incident in the military alone. If the interviewer was not using the Clinician-Administered PTSD Scale (CAPS) (generally accepted for use in detecting PTSD by structured interview), they appear to have used an instrument they were familiar with or trained to use. They used a hammer to drive a screw because it was the only tool in the toolbox.
This is all I have time to provide, but should give you an argument to get another C&P.

So, after reading the responses I'm a little fuzzy: would y'all recommend filing the NOD for EED then seeing what happens, or hire the lawyer and have him or her file it for me? I've looked through the BVA decisions and found successful cases granting EEDs, copied the VA language and applied to my particular claim. I'm waiting to send it in as I consider the discussion in this topic.

I need to preface this with a statement that I am not a licensed psychological practitioner, am not providing legal or professional advice and cannot act on anyone's behalf in providing professional services.
IN MY OPINION (only my opinion):
It appears as though you were administered an instrument (the MMPI - Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory - a personality instrument) and then interviewed. According to test results from the National Institutes for Health (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20207423, 2010), the instrument was evaluated for effective detection on those feigning PTSD. Results:
"Diagnostic-specific MMPI-2 validity indicators, such as the Infrequency-PSTD scales and Malingered Depression scale, were not effective at detecting participants instructed to feign those conditions. For the PAI, the most accurate validity indicator was the MAL index; however, the detection rate using this validity indicator was modest at best. The MMPI-2 validity indicators were clearly superior to those on the PAI at identifying feigned versus honest responding in this sample."
This means that the clinician relied on an instrument not designed to indicate PTSD and that is not valid for detecting those pretending to have PTSD. It sounds like (from the text above) they interviewed you then administered the instrument. Is this true? If they conducted an interview, then used an instrument to back up their perception they violated the American Psychological Association (APA) Ethical principles of psychologists and code of conduct (http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/principles.pdf) Code of Standards and Ethical Conduct and the American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA) code of ethics (https://www.amhca.org/assets/news/AMHCA_Code_of_Ethics_2010_w_pagination_cxd_51110.pdf) by relying on the inappropriate use for an instrument beyond its designed intent to reach a biased conclusion. With some research, you could quote the sections. I don't  have time to look at each code to find the specific section numbers, but look for those that discuss what I've told you in this paragraph.
I'm a PhD candidate in psychology with a focus on tests and measures (like the one they used to diagnose you). Copy the above text and add it to your response to the C&P exam and request a new exam. There is no way an instrument can indicate PTSD from a clinical perspective. If the instrument was administered before you were interviewed, the results were biased and therefore invalid and a violation of several ethical codes. The person that conducted the review should be reported to his or her state certification board for this violation and for creating harm (there is a provision for non-malfeasance in the codes as well) as a result of this action. Nail them to the wall for it, then get another evaluation.
Also, from reading the interview notes it appears you've had a history of issues leading up to your present state. The interviewer is giving a whole person picture that doesn't look good for indicating that PTSD was caused by the incident in the military alone. If the interviewer was not using the Clinician-Administered PTSD Scale (CAPS) (generally accepted for use in detecting PTSD by structured interview), they appear to have used an instrument they were familiar with or trained to use. They used a hammer to drive a screw because it was the only tool in the toolbox.
This is all I have time to provide, but should give you an argument to get another C&P.

I need to preface this with a statement that I am not a licensed psychological practitioner, am not providing legal or professional advice and cannot act on anyone's behalf in providing professional services.
IN MY OPINION (only my opinion):
It appears as though you were administered an instrument (the MMPI - Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory - a personality instrument) and then interviewed. According to test results from the National Institutes for Health (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20207423, 2010), the instrument was evaluated for effective detection on those feigning PTSD. Results:
"Diagnostic-specific MMPI-2 validity indicators, such as the Infrequency-PSTD scales and Malingered Depression scale, were not effective at detecting participants instructed to feign those conditions. For the PAI, the most accurate validity indicator was the MAL index; however, the detection rate using this validity indicator was modest at best. The MMPI-2 validity indicators were clearly superior to those on the PAI at identifying feigned versus honest responding in this sample."
This means that the clinician relied on an instrument not designed to indicate PTSD and that is not valid for detecting those pretending to have PTSD. It sounds like (from the text above) they interviewed you then administered the instrument. Is this true? If they conducted an interview, then used an instrument to back up their perception they violated the American Psychological Association (APA) Ethical principles of psychologists and code of conduct (http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/principles.pdf) Code of Standards and Ethical Conduct and the American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA) code of ethics (https://www.amhca.org/assets/news/AMHCA_Code_of_Ethics_2010_w_pagination_cxd_51110.pdf) by relying on the inappropriate use for an instrument beyond its designed intent to reach a biased conclusion. With some research, you could quote the sections. I don't  have time to look at each code to find the specific section numbers, but look for those that discuss what I've told you in this paragraph.
I'm a PhD candidate in psychology with a focus on tests and measures (like the one they used to diagnose you). Copy the above text and add it to your response to the C&P exam and request a new exam. There is no way an instrument can indicate PTSD from a clinical perspective. If the instrument was administered before you were interviewed, the results were biased and therefore invalid and a violation of several ethical codes. The person that conducted the review should be reported to his or her state certification board for this violation and for creating harm (there is a provision for non-malfeasance in the codes as well) as a result of this action. Nail them to the wall for it, then get another evaluation.
Also, from reading the interview notes it appears you've had a history of issues leading up to your present state. The interviewer is giving a whole person picture that doesn't look good for indicating that PTSD was caused by the incident in the military alone. If the interviewer was not using the Clinician-Administered PTSD Scale (CAPS) (generally accepted for use in detecting PTSD by structured interview), they appear to have used an instrument they were familiar with or trained to use. They used a hammer to drive a screw because it was the only tool in the toolbox.
This is all I have time to provide, but should give you an argument to get another C&P.

I think the VA can be more about dark matter and fuzzy logic. Or, like the 'case worker' scene in "Beetlejuice"....

Robert.A.McDonald@va.gov

It could also be treated as presumptive depending on the evidence you provided. You never know - could be quick.

I sent a few emails this summer and had positive reactions. I suggest a well-worded, succinct email that tells the story and gets to the point quickly. Use the 'silver bullet' wisely.

Time to get a VSO involved. I was told the common method is to get the rating approved then the address the backdate.  Good luck in 2016...

I sent a few emails this summer and had positive reactions. I suggest a well-worded, succinct email that tells the story and gets to the point quickly. Use the 'silver bullet' wisely.

I sent a few emails this summer and had positive reactions. I suggest a well-worded, succinct email that tells the story and gets to the point quickly. Use the 'silver bullet' wisely.

Justrluk, I am not familiar with your situation but IMHO, if VA grants your claim only back to your C & P exam and you have a diagnosis prior to that time frame. I say go ahead and file a NOD.  Filing a request for reconsideration at the RO level is like asking VA to reopen your claim.  Yes, I know it really does suck but this is the game we have to play.  Make sure you wait until you get your Official Letter (BBE) before filing a NOD

Congrats...  Persistence wins!
The VA must be in a work mode this month, I too got my request for re-eval processed on 12/21 and back pay on 12/24. 
Merry Christmas to all

So after all the years of working the VA claims as a part-time job, I received a call yesterday that my appeal/remand order was finally completed. He said the retro check should process within a few days. I was expecting a small percentage increase for the issue under appeal, but when I checked eBenefits this morning, I saw the new rating for the appealed issue: 100% (by itself). I then looked at my letters and saw the P&T box selected as 'Yes'. I'm still in shock. The retro wasn't what I thought it would be so I'll wait for the BBE to see the details. Also, judging by the new monthly compensation number, it looks like they are no longer recouping severance from my pay. Again, I'll have to wait for the BBE.
Next to my family, this is one of the best Christmas gifts I have ever received. I cannot thank all of you here enough for encouragement and support through the hoops of fire that is the VA process for benefits. I really want to thank Carlie, Pete, GA poppa, Ms. Berta, Chuck and a host of others that my mind is racing far too fast to remember. Carlie practically walked me through the language needed to request P&T, but I never had to send the request. I talked the language as I went through each conversation and C&P exam. I can at least provide my kids with a college education and my wife with benefits should anything happen to me. I'll have to look at the full spectrum of benefits now that I'm P&T. I know GA offers an increased homestead exemption and disabled veteran plates for parking. I'm not sure what else is available and will search here (Hadit!) to find it.
God bless to all, and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Happy New Year to all my brothers and sisters here!

So after all the years of working the VA claims as a part-time job, I received a call yesterday that my appeal/remand order was finally completed. He said the retro check should process within a few days. I was expecting a small percentage increase for the issue under appeal, but when I checked eBenefits this morning, I saw the new rating for the appealed issue: 100% (by itself). I then looked at my letters and saw the P&T box selected as 'Yes'. I'm still in shock. The retro wasn't what I thought it would be so I'll wait for the BBE to see the details. Also, judging by the new monthly compensation number, it looks like they are no longer recouping severance from my pay. Again, I'll have to wait for the BBE.
Next to my family, this is one of the best Christmas gifts I have ever received. I cannot thank all of you here enough for encouragement and support through the hoops of fire that is the VA process for benefits. I really want to thank Carlie, Pete, GA poppa, Ms. Berta, Chuck and a host of others that my mind is racing far too fast to remember. Carlie practically walked me through the language needed to request P&T, but I never had to send the request. I talked the language as I went through each conversation and C&P exam. I can at least provide my kids with a college education and my wife with benefits should anything happen to me. I'll have to look at the full spectrum of benefits now that I'm P&T. I know GA offers an increased homestead exemption and disabled veteran plates for parking. I'm not sure what else is available and will search here (Hadit!) to find it.
God bless to all, and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Happy New Year to all my brothers and sisters here!