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Unclear Memory Of A Stressor Event
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Question
Brew
I have multiple stressors, but am attempting to list all stressors in my claim file to be complete and because the most difficult non MST stressor I experienced is one that haunts me frequently. But this one is so difficult to remember the details for. I have what I think are emotional memories and some that may be actual memories but I've convinced myself it didn't happen "that way". It's a bizarre and unsettling feeling, to know that you were there and not know if what you recall actually happened or what you did. And I haven't been able to locate anyone from my unit that could help me piece it together more accurately. maybe at some point in my healing I will get that opportunity. Other events are not vague and weird, but this one is.
So - curious what the advice is out there - should I keep the description very general and say I have difficulty remembering the details accurately and then deal with it in therapy only? or should I include what I replay in my head over and over even though I don't trust the details and then say that I don't trust my memory? My emotions from the event and the struggles I have currently are real - replaying, guilt, anger, nightmares. But I just don't trust my memory because I think I blacked out mentally during the event, my adrenaline was so high.
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