Retired, this really touched me emotionally and brought tears to my eyes to read your post; I will keep you in prayer.
As the others have said, hang in there and don't give up, my fellow Veteran.
Dealing with the VA is mentally draining, I know from personal experience with handling my spouse claim (approved TDIU, P&T) and my own issues as a 20 plus year military retiree; I got very depressed after they approved my spouse TDIU because it had taken so much energy out of me.
I pray you get a speedy, approved decision for your claims promptly!