ptsd PTSD and Wife

[Hoss]

I'm just curious if anyone else has had there "wife" call the VA and have your meds cancelled  based on her opinion that you are drinking too much?

I was finally put on a drug that provided some relief from my almost overwhelming anxiety and my constant irritability; it was actually working. I could carry on a conversation with most anyone and then the next thing I know my wife has called my psychologist who then called the psychiatrist who then discontinued my meds.

Just doesn't seem right...but I guess I'm crazy to begin with.  Funny...they are really going to see crazy now that I'm going to abruptly stop all meds!!!

 

Semper Fi

 

[Andyman73]

Jimmer,

Guess she didn't appreciate your service to our country, huh?

[broncovet]

My previous wife R-U-N-N-O-F-T (You have to see the movie "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" to know what this means)  when I was down, too.  My VA benefits still had not been awarded and I told her to hang in there.  She didnt.  It was all about the money for her.   I foolishly thought if I treated her great the money would not matter.  

Why do you think women keep saying, "find a man with a JOB, and a CAR"?  These things represent money.  Without a job and a car, its difficult to find or keep a woman.  (And they call US shallow for basing our selections on appearance.  I guess basing our selection on "bank accounts" instead of appearance would be less shallow).

You see this shallowness evident in NFL players.  Before they "make" the NFL, women dont want to have much to do with those guys "who constantly work out and dont have time for relationships." 

After they make the NFL and are awarded a seven figure contract, the women flock to NFL players in an attempt to land one.  

Usually, tho, men see through this shallowness, and pick the girlfriend they had when they were broke.  

Sometimes that NFL cash is gone soon, especially for the players who know more about football than finances.  

If you fix your finances, the women will come around.  However, ignore those that come around.  YOU go find the one YOU want, and chase her.  She wont be easy, you will have a tough road winning her over.  She will be worth it.   Dont  limit your selection on the ones who chase you.  

My advice for women is different, but similar.  You need to "pick well" also.  How do you do that?

Well, think about your last date or two, and how they went.  Was he clumsy..did he not know what to say to women?  Or was he smoothe and experienced, and realy knew how to treat a woman?  

The former is ALWAYS better than the latter.  Do you want a guy who has had 900 girlfriends, all of whom split when they found out he was an alcoholic, wife beater?    No, you want the guy who has had little or no experience.  He is a keeper.  Overlook his bad manners.  Overlook his inappropriate comments.  Look at his heart.  He is lonely and will treat you great and stay with you.  He doesnt like dating and is not good at it.  He wants a wife to teach him relationships, as he has no clue.   "Mr. Smooth" is a dating professional, who is an expert at winning you over is a matter of days or even hours.  He knows just what to say to woo you.  Overlook the clumsy, "dont know what to say", awkwardness, and see the heart of a man who will give his all for you.  

[Gastone]

Jimmer: You got rid of the HEMORRHOID, hows the Eye?

Semper Fi

[Andyman73]

BroncoVet,

Just gotta say, as a life long "nice guy", I had a sweet young thang ask me if I had any brothers, or if I knew where any other "nice guys" were.  I told her that most of them are married, cuz they settled (most of us "nice guys" are settler's you know). Said you won't find them in the clubs, cuz the women there don't have time or eyes for "nice guys".  Then I told her personally I've been told that I'm too nice to date 25X more often than I ever was told that they would love to go out with me.  She said why not, you're so nice.  I just looked at her, then it dawned on her what she had just said.

Jimmer,

Just got to say, it's a whole lot easier to work through the whole VA maze without someone who is standing in your way, not supporting you, or cheering you on.  Or telling you what a loser you are, and why you want to game the system like a lazy moocher.

Not that I know what that's like, since that's not my experience, I mean, having a supporter, that is.  But here, ya got lots of supporters!

[Jimmer]

Andyman73/broncovet, I found out she had a "guy" on the side, so she thought the grass was greener with him.  It didn't work out that way.  Gastone, I ended up having a second surgery for a detached retina on the left eye, which was a lost worse then the first one.   I am "legally blind" in the left eye.  The V.A. CUE'd themselves and gave me a 80% on my eyes along with 50% PTSD.  I am now at 100% IU, and have a DRO hearing next Monday for three other things, Back, Lungs, Headaches.  Gastone your comment about getting rid of the HEMORRHOID was priceless!  LOL

[Vync]

Hoss/Jimmer,
My ex-wife sounded a lot like yours. When she was in pain it was the end of the world and required me to wait on her hand and foot while simultaneously trying to endure through numerous SC disabilities. When I was having problems, all she did was complain and tell me it was all in my head. MRI's and x-rays don't lie. After learning about her infidelity, a divorce resolved it.

I got remarried about six years ago and at first, she had no idea what a veteran was nor the purpose of the VA. After returning to college for her RN and doing clinicals at the VAMC, things started to really get even better because she obtained had firsthand VA knowledge on a daily basis. When she goes with me to the VAMC, she advocates for me, examines my medication, and helps make sure it is taken accordingly. When the VA refuses to provide treatment, she does not hesitate to call them out on it.

I guess part of the problem with some people, male or female, is narcicissm and entitlement. It takes a very special person to put others ahead of themselves for the long term. My wife told me that she is here to take care of me and I am here to take care of her -- and buy her fancy things on occasion.